Under doctor’s orders to soak his injured right throwing hand in order to speed the healing process, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has begun placing his hand inside a seemingly endless parade of supermodels and actresses that come to his door.

            “I’m just a young guy loving life,” said Romo. “If doc tells me I have to soak my hand, fine. But I’m going to have fun while soaking it and I’m going to soak it where I want to soak it. And that’s in Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood and pretty much any other woman I want.”

            Simpson says she is more than happy to help her new friend heal.

            “Ohmigod, like, it’s so amazing to have the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys with his hand inside me,” she said. “It’s just a blast. He has me doing something called Kegel exercises while he’s in there. It kind of massages his hand as he soaks it.”

            Simpson says Romo soaks for 15 minutes and then lets it dry for 15 minutes.

            “In between he puts his, what’s the word, oh yeah – peter bird in there,” says Simpson. “He says he also has a groin injury that needs to soak. I guess I’m, like, really good for his health and stuff! I know doing all this has always kept my dad in good health.”

            When Romo is finished with Simpson, he sends her home and brings in another rehab partner.

            “I know it’s Jessica Simpson, but I’m not going to settle down for anyone right now, even someone as hot as her,” said Romo. “So I send her away after a few hours and have my assistant fetch me someone else from the line that’s outside my door 24 hours a day. Obviously it’s tough to be injured, but I’m doing my best to deal with it and stay positive. I just need to keep soaking it and then work on building back strength in my hand my kneading a lot of breasts.”