Just days after reaching a custody agreement with the mother of his 10-month-old son, Matt Leinart has told friends that he is extremely disappointed with his child’s abilities to function as a capable wing man at clubs.

            “Matt says having the kid around has really cramped his style with the ladies,” said Arizona Cardinals teammate Edgerrin James. “He had the kid out at the club last night, and every time he set it down on the bar to go dance with some girl, the kid would start wailing and crying or fall off the bar onto the floor. Turns out the thing can’t even walk. And neither could Matt either by night’s end. Like father, like son, as the saying goes.”

            Leinart has been accused of not being active in his son’s life by the boy’s mother, USC women’s basketball player Brynn Cameron. But the former USC quarterback says Cameron has ruined his son by not raising him properly.

            “I don’t want to take it out on him, because I know it’s mainly due to the failings of his mother, but that child has no manners. It’s impossible to go out in public with him,” said Leinart. “Last night I was talking to these two girls, smelling all fresh with my cologne on, and he goes and takes a huge dump in his pants. Stunk them right away. And then the waitress got all pissed when I asked her to change his diaper. Told her I would even tip her for my drinks if she did it, but no.”

            Cameron says last night’s escapades prove that Leinart is an unfit father.

            “I told Matt that 7:30 is the baby’s bedtime,” said Cameron. “But he kept him out until 5:30 in the morning. And expected him to be his designated driver, too. I asked Matt what he fed the baby for dinner and he said: ‘I think he ate some bar peanuts. And there was some stuff he ate off the floor. Sequins, mainly.’"

            Leinart says that sort of thing is not really his role as a father, however.

            “I don’t do bed times or eating or stuff like that,” said the quarterback. “I let Brynn handle that sort of thing. Or I figure he’s 10 months now – he can watch out for himself. You know, be a man. I’m more of the fun dad. Taking him out to clubs. Letting him meet Paris Hilton, Britney Spears. Stuff like that. Heck, Britney wanted to hook up with him. Said he reminded her of her son. But he blew it by crying non-stop. Britney said it gave her a headache ‘cause of all the drugs.”

            No matter what, Leinart says his 10-month-old son is going to have to start pulling his weight a bit more at clubs if he wants to spend more time with his father.

            “At the end of the day, the question is: ‘Does the baby want to have a half-sister or half-brother to play with?’” said Leinart. “Then he needs to help me pick up some hottie to impregnate. And he better not try to breastfeed off of her like he did last night when I was hooking up with that chick in the bathroom stall. I’ve done three-ways before, but that was kind of weird.”