Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow, Jr., who hasn’t been on a football field in nearly two years due to injuries, stated last week that he feels he is 90-percent back to being the complete a-hole he was when he came into the NFL in 2004.

            “I’ve been through a lot in the last two years, but I’m still a total dick,” said Winslow. “Sure, I may never be the complete a-hole I was before – that was rare territory I was in – but I’m confident I’m 90-percent back to being the prick I was. And my 90-percent is still better than anyone else’s 100-percent. I can guarantee that.”

            Winslow’s teammates say they are seeing flashes of a-holeness from their tight end they though may have been gone forever.

            “We were doing a 7-on-7 drill the other day where we weren’t even allowed to tackle the offensive players,” said linebacker Willie McGinest. “And Kellen caught a seven or eight-yard pass and got up in all of our faces, yelling and strutting, saying we couldn’t stop him. It was then that I knew he was still the same old a-hole.”

            Browns quarterback Charlie Frye says he is excited because he has witnessed Winslow being an a-hole both on and off the field.

            “He was in here all offseason working out, and each morning he’d pull up and park his Hummer diagonally through two handicap spots,” says Frye. “All I could think was: ‘Wow, what a dickhead thing to do. Kellen is back.’”

            But as much of a dick as Winslow has appeared to be in training camp, some will doubt he is all the way back until he straps on the pads in the regular season and takes that first big hit.

            “For me, that will determine whether we have the Kellen Winslow, Jr. of old – the one that came out of Miami,” said head coach Romeo Crennel. “If he bounces right up and starts yelling at the guy who hit him, saying he can’t be hurt because he’s a ‘soldier’ and that the guy is a pussy, then we’ll know he still is a thoroughly unlikable a-hole. But until that happens we can’t know for sure.”