Yankees general manager Brian Cashman reported ruefully today that there is no truth to reports that third baseman Alex Rodriguez will be dealt before Sunday’s trade deadline.

“God knows I’ve been trying everything I can think of to get rid of the guy,” Cashman said with a sigh, “but he’s virtually untradable. Too much baggage and too big of a contract. So unless God smiles down upon us before the deadline and something works out somehow, I regret to inform our fans, coaches and players that A-Rod is going to be in a Yankees uniform for a long time.”

With Rodriguez playing perhaps the worst baseball of his career over the past few weeks, reports have surfaced that the embattled All-Star would be dealt, with one rumor sending him to the Phillies for Bobby Abreu, Pat Burrell and Tom Gordon.

Cashman says he was fully aware of the rumors surrounding his third baseman.

“Oh, I know about it,” said the Yankees GM, “because I’m the one who started the rumors. I was hoping that I might be able to hit upon something and the Phillies general manager or someone might say: ‘Hmmm ... that sounds pretty good. Let’s trade for A-Rod.’ But it didn’t work out that way. In fact, I called up Pat Gillick in Philadelphia yesterday to see what he thought about that trade and he just laughed uncontrollably for 30 seconds and then hung up on me. His secretary called back a few minutes later and apologized, saying the idea of a head-case like A-Rod playing in front of Philadelphia fans was what set Gillick off. So that trade possibility looks dead.”

In a season in which the Yankees have been stricken with injuries and are fighting for their playoff lives, the news that the reigning MVP will be sticking around was received as a particularly cruel blow in the clubhouse.

“You never want to hear bad news, but what can we do?” said shortstop Derek Jeter. “We’ll all just have to pull together a little bit and try to compensate for having him on our team. For instance, I’ve been talking to Joe Torre and I’m going to start playing a few steps closer to third so I can cut in front of A-Rod on grounders or scoop up his drops and at least get a throw on the runner.”

Starting pitcher Mike Mussina says he fears the A-Rod news will be the final push that sends the Yankees tumbling out of contention, but knows all great teams have to overcome difficulties.

“I guess this will be our chance to prove how good we really are – or are not,” said Mussina. “If we can somehow win a championship with Alex Rodriguez on our team, then that will mean this really is a team for the ages. And, hey, who knows – maybe A-Rod will even get a few hits here and there and cleanly field some of the grounders hit his way. That would give us a huge boost.”