Just days after fellow IRL driver Ed Carpenter said Danica Patrick is a very aggressive driver during her “time of the month,” Carpenter and several other drivers were felled by Patrick’s womanly cycle at Saturday’s Firestone Indy 200 when seemingly gallons of period blood spilled out of Patrick’s uterus and onto the track at the midpoint of the race, resulting in numerous spinouts and crashes.

            “It was like that old Nintendo Spy Hunter game out there,” said Carpenter. “But instead of an oil slick shooting out the back of her car it was period blood. I tried to avoid it the best I could, but I hit it going full speed, spun out and slammed into the wall. I don’t know if she forgot to wear a tampon or what.”

            Patrick attributed the incident to a particularly heavy flow day.

“My period hit at the beginning of the race, quickly saturated my tampon and then spilled out onto the floor of my car where it eventually began flowing out of the cockpit and onto the track behind me. Luckily for me it leaked out and didn’t keep pooling up inside the car or all of my instruments would have shorted out.”

Patrick said a similar incident occurred earlier in her racing career but fortunately did not cause any crashes.

“I used to race on dirt tracks when I was a teenager and one time I had my period in a race just like on Saturday night,” she said. “But all it did was saturate into the dirt. It created some mud and got all over everyone’s windshield and sidepanels, but thankfully no one crashed.”

Track officials quickly put the race under caution once Patrick’s menstrual mess occurred, but by that time nearly every car behind her had lost control and crashed.

            “Had we known that was going to happen we would have different tires on the car,” said Buddy Rice, who crashed and could not finish. “I wasn’t expecting any moisture on the track and I completely lost control. Maybe we need to get Firestone working on making some tires that are good in blood for when Danica’s ragging it. And the worst part of it all was getting out of my car and having to wade through all of that nastiness to get off the track.”

            Carpenter says Saturday’s incident will make him even more mindful now of avoiding Patrick on the track during her time of the month.

“I had no idea women could bleed so much out of there hoo-has,” said Carpenter. “Guess there’s a lot about women that I don’t know.”