The Baltimore Ravens organization placed its full support today behind the man accused of stabbing Ravens linebacker Roderick Green early Sunday morning in a suburban Baltimore bowling alley.

            “The Ravens have a long and proud history of supporting stabbers and being an advocate for stabber’s rights,” said head coach Brian Billick. “It would be hypocritical and disingenuous not to support this man and vouch for his innocence just because he stabbed one of our own players.”

            Green, the backup linebacker felled in the knife attack, said he wishes the team wouldn’t be so supportive of the man who tried to kill him, but understands their position.

            “This is a team who fell all over themselves supporting Ray Lewis a few years back even though there was loads of evidence that he stabbed two people or, at the very least, knew who did and was misleading the police,” said Green. “And not only did they support him, they made him the face of the franchise. So they can’t very well come out now as anti-stabbing. It wouldn’t look right.”

            Police still have no suspects in the stabbing, but hope to make an arrest in the coming days.

            “Whoever it is who stabbed Roderick Green, please know that there is no reason to go into hiding,” said Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti. “The Baltimore Ravens will take you in with open arms. If you don’t want us to turn you over to the authorities, no problem. You can stay with us and we’ll give you a job. We have plenty of jobs in the organization that will keep you out of the public eye. We’d just ask that you not stab any of us. It’s the same deal we have with Ray Lewis and so far he’s abided by it – although some of his comments this offseason have made some of fear we could get a shiv in the back at any time.”

            Lewis says he is proud of his team’s stance on the issue.

            “This is one of the biggest reasons I always want to be a Baltimore Raven – they understand that sometimes a man has to stab another man, or two, and that you shouldn’t judge someone who does so,” said the star linebacker. “Like, say a guy at a Super Bowl party says you look gay in your fur coat and gold-trimmed sunglasses. A man who says that deserves to have a knife stuck in his stomach, am I right? Him and his friend. I don’t see how this can be argued. And the Ravens understand that.”