Gonzaga star forward Adam Morrison is almost solely responsible for getting a group of people many thought was hopelessly lost from among the ranks of basketball fans interested in the sport again – America’s white supremacists.

            “We all love Adam in our klaven,” said Dwight Leimaster, Grand Dragon of the Alabama KKK. “These black players can’t hold a candle to him. He’s going to retake the game of basketball for the white man and we couldn’t be happier.”

            Morrison said he has noticed his growing celebrity among white racists.

            “I get letters and cards all the time from people all over the country saying my whiteness has given them hope again and that they’re following basketball for the first time in years,” said Morrison. “It’s really quite flattering. But it also kind of makes me want to kill myself.”

            The NBA has noticed Morrison’s popularity among white people, too, and hopes to capitalize on it when he enters the league.

            “We are always trying to open up our game to new markets,” said NBA commissioner David Stern. “We’ve lost major ground in the past few decades among racist white people, but Adam Morrison’s arrival, coupled with J.J. Redick, gives us a real solid chance to make in-roads in that demographic in the coming years. We’ve made some progress in recent years with the influx of European players, but your hardcore racists – they don’t care about them. They only want American white guys.”

            Morrison is particularly popular in the Pacific Northwest, both because he plays for Gonzaga and because it is a hotbed of white supremacist activity.

            “Adam Morrison is the next Larry Bird,” said Dale Cuddyer, a neo-Nazi from Eugene, Oregon. “It’s up to him to take the sport back for the white race. And I hope he does because I’m really sick of watching bowling.”