Talks over the phone between Orioles VP of baseball operations Jim Beattie and Marlins GM Larry Beinfest about acquiring Florida pitcher A.J. Burnett took a dramatic turn late last night when the pair found themselves engaged in phone sex.

            “I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but it happened,” said Beinfest. “We’ve been spending a lot of time on the phone together recently and I guess it’s one of those things like in any workplace where sparks can fly and two people can end up building an intense sexual tension between one another simply because of all the hours spent together working towards a common goal. It was late, we were on the phone, and one thing just led to another.”

            “I was getting tired and told him I wanted to get out of my work clothes and put on something more comfortable,” said Beattie. “He asked me what I was wearing. I told him Dockers and a polo shirt and it turned out he was wearing the same thing. And before I knew it, my pants were down around my ankles and I was muttering: ‘Oh, yeah. You want me to pick up 100 percent of Mike Lowell’s contract, don’t you? Come on, you know you want it. Tell me you need another prospect to make this deal happen. That’s right, make me work for it.’”

            Beattie said he doesn’t think the incident says anything about the sexual preference of either executive.

            “It was simply a voice on the other end of the line,” he said. “A welcoming voice that I had become accustomed to talking to. It was nothing more than a means to relieve stress and hopefully break down barriers between us and finally get a deal worked out that will get Burnett here to Baltimore. And to be honest, I enjoyed it. I hope to deal with Larry again in the future.”

            But Beinfest isn’t so sure.

            “For me at least it was extremely awkward when it was over. I felt used,” he said. “Doing something like that is totally unlike me. Especially to engage in that kind of behavior with another man. And a fellow GM, no less. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to be able to get myself to speak to him again, so I really doubt if this trade with Baltimore is ever going to come off. I’m going to have to look more closely at Boston or the White Sox and promise myself it won’t go beyond a business relationship with their general managers.”