Despite being perhaps the most dominant female athlete of all-time, LPGA golfer Annika Sorenstam will likely never achieve the worldwide superstar status like that of former tennis player Anna Kournikova and others. And it’s all because of her small boobies.

            Regardless of how many more golf tournaments she wins, Sorenstam’s lack of perky, mid to large-sized breasts is her primary stumbling block to becoming a household name.

            “Oh, man – if only Annika had a set of knockers on her, we’d be rolling in money,” said her agent, Mark Steinberg. “You slap Kournikova’s breasts on her or jeez – Serena Williams’s sweater puppets, and she would be the most famous female athlete in world history.”

            But while blessed with great athletic ability and an unmatched work ethic, Sorenstam is cursed with useless A-cup breasts.

            “Look it up – there’s never been a female athlete who has achieved worldwide fame that hasn’t had nice, perky breasts,” said Cliff Poston, a sports historian. “Well, maybe Babe Didrickson Zaharias, but she might have been a dude. But other than her, it’s true. Anna Kournikova is the best example. She never won a single tournament, but she’s more well-known than any female athlete ever. Or take Serena Williams. She may be a top player, but she’s nowhere near as dominant as Sorenstam. Her fame is in large part due to her large parts. It sure doesn’t have anything to do with her face. I have a more feminine mug than her.”

            But despite the hindrance her ironing board-like chest is to her marketability, Sorenstam has shown no willingness to get a much-needed boob job.

            “I’ve had the conversation with her countless times,” said Steinberg. “She always gives me the same line about how she wants to be remembered for her abilities as a golfer and for her personality and then some other stuff, too. I forget what exactly because I always have trouble paying attention when I talk to her because she has no cleavage to keep my attention.”

            Steinberg said the part that really drives him nuts is that Sorenstam has the rest of the package to become an object of sexual desire.

            “She has a decent face, a nice smile, nice legs,” he said. “All she needs is some bazoombas. She also has a nice personality, too, I’ll give her that. But nobody cares about that. Kournikova is one of the biggest bitches ever, and people still want to do her, and that’s all that matters.”

            Marie Hodges-Hutton, a sports sociologist at Yale, says Sorenstam is fighting an all-too-common battle.

            “Female athletes have come a long way, but they’re still judged more by their appearance than their ability in this society, and that’s both wrong and sad,” said Hodges-Hutton. “Then you have male athletes, like John Daly, who are superstars even though they are not remotely attractive. That’s just not fair. Although, now that I think about it, I am okay with that double standard because fat chicks are pretty disgusting.”