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The Official SportsPickle.com NCAA Tournament Bracket
You never win your NCAA Tournament pool, correct? Yet you are still going to visit one of the countless sports sites with the same old printable brackets, fill in your selections and submit them to your pool … knowing full well you’re going to lose yet again.
Why not hedge your bets and fill out the one-of-a-kind SportsPickle.com NCAA Tournament Bracket? Instead of picking the Final Four, the SportsPickle.com bracket lets you select who it is that you think will beat you in your pool this year. Will it be: The fat receptionist at work? Your grandmother? A friend who threw darts at the bracket? Or someone else?
Let’s unveil the Field of 64 …
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First Round
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Second Round
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Sweet Sixteen
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Elight Eight
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1 – guy running your pool who always “updates” his picks after each round
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16 – you
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8 – your brother |
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9 – the guy who just married your brother
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5 – six-year old niece who picks teams with uniforms that have her favorite colors
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12 - dyslexic kid down the street who picked Dkue, connU, Ptti, and Zaggona in the Final Four |
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4 – friend who accidentally filled out and submitted the women’s bracket
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13 – religious grandmother who picks “Godly schools” (i.e. St. Joseph’s, Providence, etc.) |
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6 – your dart throwing pet monkey
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| 11 – town drunk |
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3 – liberal Democrat friend who refuses to pick any team from a “red” state
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14 – crazy, abusive neighbor (who, coincidentally, always picks Bobby Knight-coached teams to win) |
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7 – creepy Goth neighbor kid who used a Ouija board to fill out his bracket
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10 – sports dork co-worker who filled out the first draft of his bracket in mid-December |
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2 – Rick Neuheisel
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15 – friend who is sticking with his preseason choice: Missouri |
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First Round
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Second Round
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Sweet Sixteen
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Elight Eight
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1 – some rich white Republican ('cause they always win everything, right?
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| 16 – you filling out a second bracket using the name of your imagined alter ego: Biggus Dickus |
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8 – loud, annoying bald neighbor who copied Dick Vitale's picks to the letter |
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| 9 – boring Al Gore-esque guy in accounting who copied Jay Bilas's picks |
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5 – office secretary who picks teams based on mascot ferocity level |
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| 12 - casual sports fan friend who is picking Syracuse to win because he heard Carmelo Anthony is “having another great year” |
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4 – local high school star who picked teams based on who gave him the most expensive illegal recruiting gifts |
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| 13 – neighborhood priest (who, if he wins, you plan to blackmail for his winnings by threatening that you’ll make his gambling habit public) |
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6 – friend who agreed to be in your pool after you first agreed to part of his highly unpopular NIT Tournament pool |
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| 11 – obese receptionist at work who has a thing for at large teams (and formerly Rick Majerus-led Utah) |
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3 – foreign guy in I.T. from a non-basketball playing country |
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| 14 –friend who used CIA intelligence to make his picks |
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7 – hot intern at work you helped with her picks in hopes it might lead somewhere (it didn’t) |
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| 10 – Kansas alum friend who always thinks this is Kansas’s year |
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2 – Bill Bennett |
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| 15 – WWII vet down the street who picked Liberty and Air Force to reach the championship |
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First Round
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Second Round
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Sweet Sixteen
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Elight Eight
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1 – local licensed bracketologist
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| 16 – you filling out your usual backup bracket that picks Duke to win (even though you hate them) |
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8 – your sports ignorant wife/girlfriend |
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| 9 – the man sleeping with your sports ignorant wife/girlfriend who left his bracket on your nightstand |
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5 – idiot in sales who thinks the higher the number beside each team’s name, the better they are |
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| 12 - procrastinator friend who never got around to filling out his bracket past the second round |
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4 – suicidal guy in the mailroom who wrote his selections in his own blood |
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| 13 – cousin serving in Iraq who had to complete and mail his picks two months ago so they would arrive on time |
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6 – great uncle who died halfway through filling out his bracket while you were visiting him at the rest home (yet you still took 20 bucks out of his wallet to add to the pool) |
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| 11 – guy who cuts your hair and made his selections based on the fabulousness of their uniforms |
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3 – racist black co-worker who refuses to pick teams that have more than three white players |
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| 14 –racist white co-worker who refuses to pick teams that have more than three black players |
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7 – friend who picked Kentucky to win in hopes Ashley Judd would somehow find out and have sex with him |
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| 10 – friend who picked against Kentucky for fear the above would happen, but with Wynonna Judd |
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2 – Pete Rose |
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| 15 – Alzheimer’s-ridden grandfather who picked UCLA and John Wooden to repeat |
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First Round
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Second Round
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Sweet Sixteen
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Elight Eight
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1 – someone who is not you
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| 16 – you filling out another bracket after playing the entire tournament on NCAA March Madness 2004 for Xbox |
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8 – stoner next door who makes his selections based on … uh, he forgets |
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| 9 – stoner’s equally stoned roommate who picked Gonzaga to go all the way because hearing their name makes him giggle uncontrollably |
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5 – butchy lady across the street who begrudgingly joined the pool because she couldn’t get any interest in her women’s tournament pool |
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| 12 - Alabama State alum friend who honestly believes his school will upset Duke in the first round and then roll to the title |
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4 – the same idiot who won the pool last year |
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| 13 – guy in I.T. who made his picks using modified BCS software |
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6 – slutty lady in marketing who only picks schools where guys she has slept with have gone to school |
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| 11 – illiterate pizza delivery man who picked $, O, -- and SEXY to get to the Final Four |
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3 – Wayman Tisdale, The Bracket Genie |
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| 14 –your jerk boss (who usually demands a share of the winnings even when he loses “to cover copier paper costs”) |
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7 – homeless guy near your subway stop who paid his tournament pool entry fee with money he made from recycling crack vials |
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| 10 – PETA-member lady at work who refuses to pick teams that have mascots she feels are enslaved |
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2 – local psychic who claims she channeled Jimmy The Greek |
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| 15 – an evil doer |
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March 17, 2004
