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Allan H. (Bud) Selig
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
245 Park Avenue, 31st floor
New York, NY 10167
Tel: (212) 931-7800
Dear Commissioner Selig:
Congratulations! You have been selected by the readers of SportsPickle.com as the winner of the sports commissioner Centerfold Poll. Exactly 33% of those who voted want to see your naked body.
“Why?” you ask. Perhaps it’s your dour expression. Or your thinning hair. Others may be attracted to your wrinkled face, trendy glasses, or frail body. And still others might have a thing for power (the way you can end franchises at will is kind of sexy!).
Whatever the reason, SportsPickle.com readers want to see your bare, commissioner-ly flesh. Please contact us at your earliest convenience for your all-expenses-paid naked photo shoot.
Thank you and congratulations again!
Sincerely,
SportsPickle.com
p.s. – you might want to call Bettman, Stern, and Tagliabue and rub this in!