August 21, 2002

Jason Tyson, baseball’s self-appointed “No. 1 fan,” does not become less sexually aroused when he thinks of baseball, he announced today.

Married for seven years, Tyson, 34, said he actually performs worse in bed when he thinks of baseball during heightened sexual excitement. “I’ve always heard that you should think about baseball or your mother in order to last longer for your wife,” Tyson said. “Thinking about my mother is downright disgusting, and having baseball pass through my mind makes me end even quicker.”

Tyson said does not have sex with his wife if there is a baseball game on television or if “Baseball Tonight” is being aired. “That’s a strict policy I have,” he said. “I love the game and will allow nothing to come between it and me.”

And if Tyson feels he needs to slow down in the marriage bed, he does his best to separate his love of baseball from his thought patterns. Thinking of a perfectly executed double play, hit and run, squeeze play or double switch only puts him over the age quicker.

Tyson said he is not bi-sexual and primarily thinks of specific baseball plays, not certain players. “Sure, Mickey Mantle, Barry Bonds, Nolan Ryan – those guys have entered my mind at the end [of sex], but it’s purely because of my appreciation of their skills, not a sexual attraction to them.”

Margie Tyson said she has been able to able to make her husband last longer in bed over the past few months by whispering things in his ear about the baseball strike. “I say things like ‘protracted labor dispute’ or ‘Don Fehr’ sporadically while we’re making love,” she said. “He could go forever when I do that.”