Zach Randolph Has Best Shooting Night of Career at Local Nightclub

Grizzlies forward Zach Randolph had the best shooting night of his career last night at Senses, a nightclub in downtown Memphis.

“Oh my God, it was incredible,” said patron Gabby Smith.  “He was on fire tonight.  It was like he couldn’t miss.”

Indeed, Randolph shot an incredible 12-for-12 with his Glock automatic handgun, even hitting a difficult bank shot that caromed off a steel beam and blew off the finger of a cocktail waitress, just before police arrived.

“I’ve never had a night like that,” said an exhausted but ecstatic Randolph.  “I just got into that zone, and suddenly everyone’s head was, like, THIS BIG.  Sometimes the stars align and you end up taking down twelve a—holes who totally had it coming.”

Randolph’s friends said they never saw this performance coming from Randolph.  “He must have had thirty beers before we went out tonight, “said friend Juan Davis.  “And he was totally out of shape, too.  But then we got to the club, and he took out his gun, and it was like you flicked a switch.  Just an amazing night to be a part of.”

Randolph says he can’t guarantee his hot streak will continue, but that he’ll keep trying.  “You never know,” he told reporters afterwards.  “You have a shooting night like this, maybe it’s an omen of good things to come.  I mean, I was hitting people from inside and outside.  It definitely makes you think someone is up there guiding you.  And your hollow-point bullets.”