#5 Lane Kiffin
Kiffin placed the highest among all coaches in sports. That's definitely something other schools can use to recruit against USC. "You could come to my school or you could go to USC, a program coached by someone in a visor who was proven by a scientific poll to be the biggest coaching douche in the world. Your call."
#4 Jimmy Clausen
He was done at Notre Dame in 2009 and hasn't played in an NFL game since 2010, yet so great was the douchebaggery of his college days that he still ranks among the greatest d-bags in sport. It's an amazing douche legacy that echoes through the ages like an annoying Nickelback song. No college player will ever come close to breaking Clausen's NCAA records for douchedom.
#3 Ryan Lochte
London held a 17-day sports festival featuring thousands of athletes from all over the world competing for hundreds of medals. And the enduring legacy of those Games is this friggin' guy. The douche is strong in this one.
#2 Jay Cutler
You think he's upset that you think he's a douchebag? Everything he does is a calculated douche move. He considers it an honor to be placed among the best.
#1 Alex Rodriguez
As Kobe Bryant told the slumping, aging A-Rod: "You're one of the best to ever do it." He couldn't be more right. No one has ever been better at being a douchebag than Alex Rodriguez. Congratulations, Alex. Give a congratulatory kiss to that douche in the mirror.