Terrell Owens’s timely appearance at Eagles training camp last week despite wanting a new contract enraged a media corps who had hoped to bash him mercilessly in the coming month for holding out.
“How am I supposed to fill the dozens of column inches I had planned and complain endlessly on television and radio about T.O. if he doesn’t hold out?” complained ‘Sports Illustrated’s Peter King. “I had pre-written a whole bunch of stuff about him and Drew Rosenhaus, but now it’s all worthless. What am I supposed to do now – write about Hines Ward? Boring.”
Despite Owens appearing on-time and going about his business professionally, King and his football media brethren decided to go ahead and file the same number of stories about Owens they had planned originally anyway.
“This whole thing really caught us blindsided,” said Jeff Tatum of the ‘USA Today.’ “Unfortunately I hadn’t researched anything else going on in the NFL, so I’ve just been doing stories on stuff like what T.O. likes to eat for breakfast and what T.O. listens to on his iPod. It’s really compelling stuff. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to start writing again about what an a—hole he is. But until then I’ll just dog him mercilessly.”

Fans at an AND 1 Mix Tape Tour stop Saturday night in Chicago were blown away by a behind-the-back pass thrown by point guard Earl “Skinny Ray” Thompson, nearly losing consciousness and control of their bodily functions after the pass led to a dunk by Mikey “Skeet-Skeet” McGee.
“No you ditn’t just throw a behind-the-back pass!” screamed Jeffrey Taylor, a fan who was in attendance at the game, before covering his face in disbelief and falling all over his equally amazed friends. “I ain’t never seen nothing that amazing in my whole life! Who could believe a pass could be thrown behind one’s back?!”
Taylor and several other fans were then removed from their seats by paramedics after hyperventilating.
The reaction is similar at AND 1 events throughout the country, which routinely seem to be held before people who have never watched any form of basketball played before in their lives.
“We require those who buy tickets to our games to sign a waiver before entering,” said Donald Rogers, director of the AND 1 Tour. “The waiver absolves us of any responsibility should they die of a heart attack after seeing someone dunk or throw a no-look bounce pass.”

Sudanese refugees issued a desperate plea today to the International Fedration of Competitive Eating (IFOCE), begging the organization to hold a future competitive eating competition in the country’s Darfur region.
[FULL STORY]

In a move the organization hopes will deflect mounting pressure to change their nickname in light of the NCAA’s recent decision on American Indian nicknames and mascots, the Washington Redskins announced today that the team will donate 5-percent of stadium firewater sales to Native American groups.
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The Pittsburgh Pirates and New York Yankees agreed in principle to a deal today that will send current Pirates rookie pitching phenom Zach Duke to the Yankees before the 2010 trade deadline, months before Duke will be eligible for free agency for the first time.
“We’re very happy to have locked down a deal for Zach now, and hopefully we’ll be able to get a lot of wins out of him between now and then when we can no longer afford to pay him,” said Pirates GM Dave Littlefield. “The young prospects we get from the Yankees will be integral to the rebuilding we’ll be doing in 2010.”
The teams will not determine what prospects the Pirates will receive until 2010, but Littlefield said they will give Pittsburgh fans reason to hope.
“Of course, we will have lost Jason Bay, Oliver Perez, and Jose Castillo due to salary reasons by the time we trade Duke, so we’ll really need an infusion of young talent,” said Littlefield. “And, who knows, if we get some luck between now and then, we may even eek out our first winning season since 1992 before we have to start dismantling our current promising core of young players.”

Two thumbs up from me on the new Madden video game. The graphics of Donovan McNabb puking on himself in the game’s intro have exquisite detail. It’s so lifelike one can imagine being in the huddle with McNabb during the Eagles final “drive” at last year’s Super Bowl.

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