A short, 450-word article published Monday on SportsIllustrated.com about the NFL Draft was spread over 238 pages, forcing readers to click “Continue Story” at the bottom of each page 237 times to complete the article.
“The more pages readers click to, the more ads they see and the more revenue we get,” said SI.com general manager Bob Ravelo. “If that means pissing some people off a long the way, so be it. Happy readers don’t let me meet the profit targets I’ve set for the site this quarter.”
The draft recap may have been the most egregious example of the site’s new setup, with many pages of the article not containing more than one word.
“We’ve been directed from on-high to use a lot of adverbs in our articles,” said SI.com staff writer Alexis Hughes. “For example, for a piece I wrote on the Broncos selecting Maurice Clarett, I wrote that it was a ‘very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very curious selection.’ Then, the way the editors set up my article to appear on the site, it read like this: ‘very, very’ – click to continue story – ‘very’ – click to continue story – ‘very, very’ – click to continue story – ‘very’ – click to continue story – ‘ver-‘ – click to continue story – ‘y’ – click to continue story – ‘very curious selection.’ I’m sure that annoyed a lot of readers and will seriously cut into the site’s traffic over the long-term, but I’d bet they made a few grand just on people clicking through my ‘verys.’”

Negotiations between the San Francisco 49ers and No. 1 pick Alex Smith hit a snag today when Smith and his agent, Tom Condon, turned down the team’s initial contract offer of six years at $40 an hour.
“When they first said what they were offering, I thought it was actually in the ballpark because Eli Manning got six years and a base of $45 million last year,” said Condon. “I was pleasantly surprised they were starting so high. But then they clarified for me that they didn’t say ‘million’ and that that they were only offering $40 an hour. And that’s only for game time. They’re not offering anything for practice time.”
49ers owner John York said he felt the team was being very generous with its offer and is worried the team will not be able to afford Condon’s asking price for Smith.
“We not only offered $40 an hour – which anyone would admit is a pretty good hourly rate for a 20-year old kid just coming out of college – but I also offered to give him a $30 gift card to Olive Garden,” said York. “And I might be able to give the kid a few bucks during the week if he comes by my place and rakes leaves or washes my car or something.”

In a nine-page feature story in the most recent issue of ‘Sports Illustrated,’ the fringe sport of lacrosse was hailed for the dramatic growth it’s enjoyed in just a few years – going from being played only by rich, snotty, white people who live in the affluent Maryland and New England suburbs, to now include participation by rich, snotty, white people in other parts of the country.
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Miami Heat center Shaquille O’Neal seems to have absolutely no idea that the only reason people laugh at his various one-liners and jokes is not because he’s at all funny, but because they’re too scared to not laugh at the antics of a 7-foot-1, 350-pound black guy.
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In the midst of the longest homerless streak he’s ever had in his career to open a season, and well past the point of the season in which he normally gets his first injury, Cincinnati Reds management, players and coaches are hoping one of Ken Griffey, Jr.’s hamstrings will rupture soon so they can play someone else in his place.
“Sure, it’s great for Ken that he hasn’t gotten hurt, but we have other good outfielders now that are fighting for playing time, and we can’t keep giving at bats to some 35-year old, .230-hitter with no power in hopes he’ll magically recapture what he was 10 years ago,” said Reds manager Dave Miley. “We thought he would’ve gone down with an injury weeks ago so we wouldn’t have to deal with this distraction.”
Miley has instructed the team’s head trainer, Mike Berry, to get Griffey injured and fast.
“I think what I’m going to do is tell Griffey I’ve developed a new kind of therapy for chronic hamstring problems that includes hours of sitting, repeated icing, and then an all-out, 50-yard sprint,” said Berry. “That should blow out his hamstrings good."

NASCAR held the first-ever Subway 500 last weekend, and while I don’t know who won, I do know that no one took advantage of the wonderful opportunity to run over that annoying lard Jared at 150 mph, and that makes me dislike racing all the more.

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