Reports: Browns Still Going to Suck

Cleveland-Browns-logo-psd56743Despite a wave of optimism following the drafting of Johnny Manziel in May, mounting evidence suggests the Cleveland Browns are still really going to suck.

“Yeah, I see no reason to think we’re going to be any good,” said front office source. “It’s too bad because there was a slight glimmer of hope there for a few weeks. Or was it even months? Wow. Those were some good times. But it all seemed to start unraveling when we began playing football again.”

The once-hopeful franchise has seen Manziel and veteran quarterback Brian Hoyer have struggled immensely in the preseason and they are set to lose star receiver Josh Gordon to the year for a drug suspension.

“I’ll admit that when I first took the job, despite being the team’s 17th choice or so, I felt like maybe I could be the guy to turn this around,” said Browns head coach Mike Pettine. “Crazy, but I did. But all of that is already gone and it’s only mid-August. I can feel myself being consumed by the darkness.”

Some Browns players are still trying to remain positive, however.

“You just have to finish out the season and play with dignity like a professional,” said left tackle Joe Thomas. “There are only 16 games left, as well as two more preseason games. You have to keep your head up and try to build towards … a better future. A future that is … I don’t know. The sweet embrace of death, I guess.”

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