“Soccer is okay, I guess,” Donovan wrote in a Facebook statement announcing his retirement. “I found myself getting into it during World Cups. But it is my favorite sport? Not even close. I kind of wish I had played football or basketball.”
Donovan continued on his post, running through many of the common complaints Americans have about soccer.
“There’s not enough scoring in soccer and I no longer want to be associated with something that is so boring,” wrote the Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder. “And what’s with all the falling down? It’s ridiculous. Just imagine if our best athletes played soccer. We’d kill everyone. Not that that will ever happen, because soccer sucks and will never be popular here.”
The Facebook post was met with near unanimous agreement in the comments.
“I’ve always liked soccer, but you make some good points,” wrote on commenter. “It is dumb.”
“I just pretended to like soccer to try to impress my friends,” wrote another. “You inspire me not to do that anymore.”
“Football is the world’s greatest sport. You’re just bitter because you didn’t make my team, loser,” wrote Jurgen Klinsmann near the bottom. “Get over it. No one will miss you.”
– – – – –
Also see …