Derrick Rose’s Knees Not Sure How to Tell Him They’ll Never be the Same

Derrick-Rose-Team-USAThe knees of Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose are unsure how to make it clear to their owner that he in no way should ever expect them to feel or perform the way they did when he entered in the NBA, sources close to the joints believe.

“Knees are going increasingly frustrated,” another Rose body part that asked to remain anonymous said today. “They feel terrible for letting him down so far in his career, but they feel like he’s not being reasonable thinking they’ll ever be 100-percent again. They’re trying to send him hints by getting sore all the time and swelling, but it’s not getting through. It’s getting close to the time where they’re going to have to sit him down again and make it perfectly clear.”

Rose missed half the 2011-2012 NBA season, all of the 2012-2013 season and all but 10 games of the 2013-2014 season with knee injuries. Despite all of that rest and rehab, he has needed to rest his knees after repeated action while playing with Team USA this summer … while at the same time claiming he’s 100-percent.

“I don’t think Derrick understands what 100-percent means,” said his ankles. “I’m no knee expert, but I’ve been around enough injuries to know that they’re never getting back to where they were before he got hurt. It’s not possible. No matter what Derrick says or what Bulls fans want to believe, it’s not happening. I’m sorry.”

But Rose’s brain scoffs at any thought that the player has already peaked in his career and is facing years of chronic knee problems.

“Ridiculous,” said his brain. “In fact, we’re going to dominate the NBA this year and win a lot of titles. We didn’t go through all of these injuries just to fade away like Anfernee Hardaway or Gilbert Arenas. Did we? How would that be fair? I don’t want to even try to wrap myself around that idea. Nope, we’re the exception. We’re special.”

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Also see …

PICTURE: Derrick Rose toy requires “Leg Assembly”

PICTURE: No one even knows who Derrick Rose is anymore

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(photo via)

 

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