Michael Jordan Announces He’s Returning for the 2014-2015 NBA Season

Former NBA superstar and current Charlotte Hornets majority owner Michael Jordan announced today that he will return to play basketball this season at age 51. The news immediately wiped all other NBA and sports news off the radar.

“I just felt the time was right,” said Jordan. “Seeing the older guys on the Spurs win a title made me think I can still win in this league. And then, of course, with everyone talking about where LeBron [James] will go … well, I wanted to give you all some real news from a six-time NBA champion.”

Jordan’s announcement rocked the sports world and immediately saw the huge contingent of reporters in Miami and Cleveland pull up stakes and head to Charlotte as word was coming out about Jordan’s announcement.

“It’s nice to see you all here,” Jordan said, opening his press conference. “People criticize the media a lot, but it’s clear you recognize what is really news over what is a cheap imitation of important.”

James’ website reportedly posted where he will play next at the same time as Jordan’s press conference, but no one has bothered to check it yet.

“Unless he’s playing with Jordan, I don’t really care,” ESPN’s Brian Windhorst said. “In light of the Jordan news, LeBron doesn’t matter.”