What Your Jersey Says About You



You were too cheap to buy a real jersey.

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authentic player jersey

You spent way too much money on a shirt.

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jersey of a player who is no longer on the team

You spent way too much money on a shirt a few years ago and can’t justify buying a new one for a while.

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authentic Albert Pujols jersey placed in your locker by the LA Angels’ equipment manager

You are MLB star Albert Pujols.

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authentic player All-Star jersey

You spent way too much money on a shirt. Seriously, though. Way too much.

Your jersey looks ridiculous. Evaluate your life decisions.

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women’s cut jersey

You are a woman or you are a guy who didn’t pay attention when buying

your jersey and are now wondering why the sleeves on your jersey are so short.

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authentic player NCAA jersey

Whaaaat? There’s no such thing as an authentic NCAA player jersey. You simply bought a jersey with a number

on it that coincidentally features the same number as that of the team’s best player. Simple mistake by you.

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jersey with ketchup all over it

You spilled ketchup on your jersey like a big idiot, again proving it was stupid of you to

spend so much money on a shirt when most times you’re wearing the shirt you’re going

to be eating messy foods and drinking beer. Live and learn.

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jersey with blood all over it

Holy shit. Is it your blood? No? My God! What have you done? You killed someone! How did this happen?

How much did you have to drink? No time to think about that now. Run! Run away! You must now live

your life as a fugitive from the law or the next piece of clothing you’ll wear will be a prison jumpsuit.

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jersey with blood all over it (your blood)

Why are you reading this? Get help! You’re dying!

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no shirt

Not only are you not wearing a jersey, you’re not wearing a shirt of any kind.

Really, you should have been able to figure that out yourself. Come on.

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back hair jersey

You’re disgusting. People will laugh and take your picture, but they mostly find you repulsive.

Shave your back, gross out.

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Cubs jersey

You either spend money to wear ironic shirts or you are clinically depressed.

Either way, your life hasn’t exactly panned out too well.

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Also see … 

What Your Stadium Food Choice Says About You

What the Beach Sport You’re Playing Says About You