Browns Trying Out Local Homeless Men at Wide Receiver

brownsNesnThe Cleveland Browns are holding an open tryout for local homeless men today in hopes of uncovering some wide receiver talent. 

“It’s no secret that we have some issues at wide receiver,” said general manager Ray Farmer. “It’s also no secret that the advice of a homeless man caused us to draft Johnny Manziel. So the thought was that we may as well tap the homeless for wide receiver talent.”

Farmer then made a point of saying the homeless receiver initiative was “100-percent the idea of [Browns owner] Jimmy Haslam. I had nothing to do with this.”

Despite drafting Johnny Manziel in the 1st Round, the Browns don’t have many weapons for him to throw to. Star receiver Josh Gordon is likely facing a season-long ban due to substance issues, leaving the team with retreads Nate Burleson, Austin Miles and 5-foot-7 Andrew Hawkins as their top wide receivers.

“Problems create opportunities,” said Haslam. “I truly believe that. And homeless people really fit the identify of what I want the Cleveland Browns to be. People overlook the homeless and think they can’t have success. But they’re scrappy and they survive. That’s the mentality I want to bring to the Browns. I want people to think of the Cleveland Browns as the homeless men of the NFL.”

One homeless man has already caught the eyes of Browns coaches.

“There’s a guy here who is 6-foot-3 with decent speed and hands. And he’s very muscular,” said head coach Mike Pettine. “I’ll admit I thought this whole idea was insane, but we might have something with this guy.”

“I just want to play,” said the man, who looked like former NFL receiver Terrell Owens wearing a trash bag for a shirt. “I think I can be the best receiver in the league.”

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