Does Your NBA Team Have a Chance to Sign LeBron James?

Atlanta Hawks: No. 

Boston Celtics: Never.

Brooklyn Nets: They do not.

Charlotte Hornets: Nope.

Chicago Bulls: It’s unlikely.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Eh. Maybe. But probably not.

Dallas Mavericks: Nah.

Denver Nuggets: No, sir.

Detroit Pistons: No way.

Golden State Warriors: No? Yes. No.

Houston Rockets: Yes. Wait, no. It’s no. (UPDATE: Still unlikely.)

Indiana Pacers: Not happening.

Los Angeles Clippers: Almost definitely not happening.

Los Angeles Lakers: Probably not happening.

Memphis Grizzlies: AHHHHHahahahahaha. (No.)

Miami Heat: Probably.

Milwaukee Bucks: Below a 0% chance.

Minnesota Timberwolves: My god, no!

New Orleans Pelicans: N.O.

New York Knicks: Come on. No.

Oklahoma City Thunder: No to the factor of No.

Orlando Magic: They shouldn’t even bother calling his agent.

Philadelphia 76ers: Not the slightest chance.

Phoenix Suns: What has two letters and starts with N and ends with O and accurately describes LeBron James’ level of interest in the Phoenix Suns?

Portland Trail Blazer: It’s worth some thought … annnnnd … no.

Sacramento Kings: He might even refuse to play there for road games.

San Antonio Spurs: Not in a million years plus all the other years in history.

Toronto Raptors: Absolutely not.

Utah Jazz: Yes, they have no chance.

Washington Wizards: No.

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Also see … 

Wiser, more mature LeBron announces 2014 “Decision” special will be just 30 minutes

PICTURE: Cleveland fans think LeBron is coming back, never learn

8 Jordans That LeBron is DEFINITELY Better Than

SP’s LeBron James page