Report: The Spurs Think You’re Boring

hi-res-6334334_crop_exactThe San Antonio Spurs find you incredibly boring, according to opinions expressed today by numerous members of the organization.

“So lame. So so lame,” said head coach Gregg Popovich. “Just sits there on the couch staring at the TV watching sports. What a boring style of life. I mean, try to do something exciting. Anything. Who wants to watch someone that boring? Well, no one. No one would ever watch someone so lame and boring do anything, not like a wildly successful basketball team. But you get my point.”

Spurs star Tim Duncan said your face is what gets him.

“Does it ever change expression?” he said. “I don’t know, because I’ve never seen it because this person is not famous and doesn’t matter in any way. A wasted life. A boring, wasted life.”

Teammate Tony Parker says he has seen your face and it’s more pathetic and boring than Duncan could even imagine.

“Most of the time the dolt’s mouth is just hanging wide open while the idiot stares at stuff,” said Parker. “It’s a very forgettable face. Although how stupid it is sticks with you a little bit.”

Matt Bonner said you “have a boring job, and not one nearly as cool as being a professional basketball player,” while Manu Ginobili said he’s “sick of you” and that he wishes you  “would go away” because you’ve “been around a long time.”

Doug, the janitor who cleans the team’s locker room, also said that you are “so boring they make my eyes glaze over.”

“As janitor jobs go, mine is pretty kickass,” said Doug. “When I tell people what I do at parties, they think it’s a great story. I can’t imagine they ever have anything interesting to say to anyone.”

– – – – –

Also see …

VIDEO: Gregg Popovich stunned by the stupidity of David Aldridge’s question

PICTURE: Manu Ginobili enjoys Chapstick

SP’s San Antonio Spurs page

(photo via)