8 Things the New Charlotte Hornets Should Do to be as Awesome as the Old Charlotte Hornets

1. Pose with kickass assault weapons

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2. Put 1980s stand-up comedians on the court

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3. Give hipsters roster spots

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4. Let adorable little kids play

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5. Take all team photographs at Sears

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6. Don’t skimp on Spandex

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7. Remember style = wristwatches + jeans + tucked-in jerseys

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8. Don’t have Kobe Bryant on the team (he’s old now)

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Also see … 

10 Greatest Moments in Charlotte Bobcats History

PICTURE: Air Jordan logo inside a cucumber

SP’s Charlotte Bobcats page

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