30 MLB Awards That Should be Given in Honor of Current Players

punchAJDavid Ortiz Award for Achievement in Viral Selfies

Brian McCann Cup for Achievements in Protecting Baseball’s Unwritten Rules

Yasiel Puig Trophy for Most Unwritten Baseball Rules Violated

St. Louis Cardinals Fans Award for Being the Best Fans (Given Annually to St. Louis Cardinals Fans by St. Louis Cardinals Fans)

Ryan Braun Award for Scummiest PEDs Denial

Bronson Arroyo Award for Best Folk Song

Brandon McCarthy Award for Achievements in Tweeting

Tuffy Gosewich Award for the Backup Catcher with the Most Backup Catcher Name

Scooter Gennett Award for Backup Middle Infielder with the Most Backup Middle Infielder Name

Bartolo Colon Award for Athletic Achievements in a Non-Athletic Body

Yadier Molina Award for Best Brother in a Baseball Family

Upton Cup for Most Disappointing Baseball Family

A.J. Pierzynski Award for Most Punchable Baseball Face

Homer Bailey Award for Worst Baseball Name

The Pujols-Schlitter Cup for Favorite Baseball Name Among Pre-Teen Boys

L.J. Hoes Award for Greatest Name

Max Scherzer Award for Best Player with Heterochromia

Miguel Cabrera Award for MVP of Old Baseball Fans

Mike Trout Award for MVP of Young Baseball Fans

Brian Wilson Trophy for Achievements in Self-Promotion

Justin Verlander Award for Most Attractive Lady Friend

Don Kelly Award for the Player Who Somehow Keeps a Roster Spot

Yuniesky Betancourt Award for the Player Most Despised by Sabermetricians

Jose Bautista Award for Achievements in Following People on Twitter

Josh Hamilton Trophy for Fastest Deterioration

Alex Rodriguez Trophy for Most Welcome Absence

Hanley Ramirez Award for Worst Hairdo

Ryan Howard Diamond-Encrusted Cup for the Worst Contract in Baseball

Hunter Pence Award for Baseball Success While Looking Incredibly Awkward

Daniel Murphy Baseball Father of the Year Award

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Also see … 

9 Features That Should be in MLB 14: The Show

What Your Favorite MLB Team Says About You

SP’s MLB page