The Philadelphia Eagles sent a message to Nick Foles today that they see him as the clear No. 1 quarterback on the roster for this season and beyond by signing noted suckwad QB Mark Sanchez to be his backup.
“Oh, wow, I can’t thank Coach [Chip] Kelly and [owner] Jeffrey Lurie for showing this kind of confidence in me,” said Foles. “To bring in Mark Sanchez … I mean, well … it’s obvious they wouldn’t want to play him and don’t even feel I need competition for the No. 1 spot. It really means a lot.”
Foles took the starting job from veteran Michael Vick last year and then Vick moved onto the Jets. There was some speculation that the Eagles would bring in a capable veteran backup to mentor Foles and possibly step in behind center if the 25 year-old should falter. But Sanchez is a non-option as a starter and could only mentor Foles on how to embarrass himself on national television.
“It feels really good to know that I won’t have to be looking over my shoulder,” said Foles. “Except maybe to, you know, look back and see what kind of douchey hairdo Mark has every day.”
The Eagles have placed Sanchez fourth on their depth chart with blank spaces at No. 2 and No. 3.
“Technically, he’s the backup,” said Kelly. “But we didn’t want to disrespect the many solid backup quarterbacks in the NFL by placing Mark on their level.”
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