1. Keep it the same distance, but teams can only use the kicker for one extra-point try. For the next attempt a team has to use someone else on the roster (likely the punter). For the next one the must use yet another player on the roster, and so forth and so on. This adds strategy to the extra point, makes it more challenging, requires football players to be well-rounded and — best of all — creates the possibility of getting to see fat players try to kick extra points late in high-scoring games. Fat man kicking! FAT MAN KICKING!
2. Keep it the same distance, but make the crossbar higher. Why is everyone only thinking of moving it back when we have the Y-axis to play with, too? So a 19-yard kick isn’t challenging enough. Fine. Let’s see you make a 19-yard field goal over a cross bar that’s 100-feet in the air. Not so easy now, is it, kicker guy? Added bonus: Players could no longer dunk over the crossbar after touchdowns, possibly cutting down on the amount of times announcers remind us that certain tight ends played basketball in college.
3. Make extra-points worth less than one point. Maybe teams will try for two-point conversions more often if the extra point is no longer worth a whole point. Plus, it would be pretty cool to see a team you hate lose by 0.005 points on a last second touchdown and successful extra-five-thousands-of-a-point attempt.
4. Keep the extra-point at the same distance, but the kicker must do a “dizzy bat” spin around his holder until the ball is snapped, then steady himself, try to maintain his balance and kick.
5. Same distance, same point total, but the only offensive guys on the field are the long-snapper, the holder and the kicker. Yes, the only person blocking is the long-snapper. (This option allows teams to have 10 extra roster sports for kickers to cover all of the in-game injuries, femur snappings and deaths.)
6. Force kickers to kick the extra point with a soccer ball, which would possibly make the sport more popular in London and throughout Europe, thereby accelerating Roger Goodell moving the Jacksonville Jaguars off of American soil.
7. Award a team an extra point without even kicking the ball as long as every player on the roster signs a waiver saying they will never sue the NFL for brain damage.
8. Literally freeze the kicker. Envelop him in a cloud of nitrogen before the kick. If his leg is strong enough, it will break through and send the ball through the uprights. If not, then no point is awarded. Tough luck.
9. Keep it the same exact distance, but make it more challenging by allowing the 11 opposing defensive players to yell the N-word and other slurs at the longsnapper, holder and kicker before and during the play. This would be the only time slurs are allowed during games, meaning players would really go all-out in spewing intimidating hate.
10. Move the extra point up five yards BUT have them kick not the pigskin … but an actual pig skin. Let’s make it a live piglet. The longsnapper must snap the piglet, the holder must catch it and control it’s little squirming body, and then the kicker must boot it through the uprights. All that takes real skill. Bonus: post-kick fresh bacon. Merica loves bacon!
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