Washington Redskins: You are starting to realize that your team name will eventually be changed, if for no other reason than that Robert Griffin III will likely make Dan Snyder change it to the Washington RG3s.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: You hope the team will start winning again to the point that you feel kind of bad about not going to any of their games.
Atlanta Falcons: You think the Falcons just aren’t tough enough. In fact, you thought about this a lot after you pulled your car off to the side of the road because of 2 inches of snow.
Minnesota Vikings: You’re hopeful that the new Vikings stadium will at least give incomplete passes a refreshing new look.
St. Louis Rams: You think Sam Bradford might be able to stay healthy if he was converted into a pitcher for the Cardinals.
Detroit Lions: You worry that Ford, Chrysler and GM cars all have better microprocessors than what Jim Caldwell is outfitted with.
New York Giants: You thought you were stuck with crap Manning again until you watched the Super Bowl. Now you’re not so sure.
Dallas Cowboys: You don’t understand why people call you a front-running bandwagon fan. Only a true fan would stick by a team this horrible.
Chicago Bears: You hope Jay Cutler’s lit cigarette will accidentally burn up his contract.
Arizona Cardinals: You would welcome realignment that put your team back in the NFC East.
Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers is gay in all of your dreams.
Philadelphia Eagles: You think Nick Foles is the greatest quarterback in the history of football since Mike Vick had that string of good games a few years ago.
New Orleans Saints: You think New Orleans is the best Super Bowl host city. You also think it would be great if every round of the playoffs was hosted in New Orleans.
San Francisco 49ers: You thought you were an accepting, progressive, live-and-let-live kind of person who loved everyone. Until Richard Sherman spoke loudly after a football game.
Carolina Panthers: You wish Carolina’s offense had as much creativity as Cam Newton’s shoes.
Seattle Seahawks: When people accuse you of being a bandwagon fan who only became a Seahawks “diehard” in the last few years, you just yell until you can’t hear what they’re saying.
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