Marshawn Lynch a Late Scratch with Diabetes

molynchThe Seattle Seahawks have announced that star running back and four-time Pro Bowler Marshawn Lynch will miss Super Bowl XLVIII after being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

“I’m in shock. I have no idea how this happened,” Lynch told a gathering of media at team hotel while dodging Skittles thrown at him by Seahawks fans. “I really don’t know what to say. I mean, I guess all I can do is get a second opinion and hope.”

The doctor, who says he’s never been so sure of a diagnosis in his life, stated Lynch’s blood sugar levels were unlike any he’s ever seen.

“When we drew blood from his arm, it came out all rainbow colored,” stated Dr. Tim Glenn of Englewood Hospital and Medical Center. “I thought I was on a prank show or something for a minute. Then we took a urine sample, and same thing. Rainbow colored. I have no idea how he’s still alive. And I’m a doctor.”

Lynch said he’ll never forget the phone call during which he learned the official results.

“It was totally unexpected,” explained Lynch, taking a moment to collect himself. “When Dr. Glenn called I nearly choked on my mouthful of Skittles. Luckily I had liquefied some Skittles moments before, so I was able to wash it down with that.”

Seattle head coach Pete Carroll said the diagnosis is disappointing.

“It’s a real shame Marshawn won’t be playing Sunday,” said Carroll. “He’s been there for us week in and week out all season. Just a total freak injury. Guess it just goes to show you, no matter how much you work out and no matter how great of shape you’re in, players can still come down with things out of the blue for no reason at all.”

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