Johnny Manziel Blows an Impressive 0.20 on the NFL Combine Breathalyzer Test

johnnydJohnny Manziel wowed NFL scouts today at the draft combine by blowing a 0.20 on the breathalyzer test, crushing the combine record.

“It answered a lot of questions about him,” said one scout. “He was more than double the legal limit, yet he was acting completely normal. My concerns that he wouldn’t be able to perform while intoxicated have been proven to be without merit. I think he can be a good NFL player even when drunk or hungover.”

Manziel said he was happy with his performance in the breathalyzer, but felt he could do better.

“I’ve blown a 0.25 before,” he said. “Uncle Nate says I even hit a 0.3 once, but I honestly don’t remember that night.” 

The former Texas A&M quarterback and Heisman winner said he went out drinking last night to celebrate the start of the start of the NFL combine, but hadn’t had anything to drink for at least three hours before the breathalyzer. The previous NFL record on the breathalyzer was JaMarcus Russell’s sizzurp-fueled 0.14  in 2007.

“I just want teams to know that I’m going to live my life off the field, but that it doesn’t impact how I play on the field,” said Manziel. “I hope I proved that today. To be honest, I play a little better with a buzz on. It loosens me up and lets my instincts take over on the field. I was completely shit-faced for pretty much all of my best games in college.”

Manziel’s height was also measured today at the combine and he came in at 5 feet, 11.5 inches.

“That’s misleading,” said the quarterback. “Right when they measured, I ducked down a few inches to check out the ass on a trainer girl that was walking by.”

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Also see … 

Johnny Manziel signs 5-year, $150 million contract with Cowboys because he can do whatever he wants

Johnny Manziel’s OFFICIAL Apology Statement Template

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