Jadeveon Clowney Wows Scouts by Playing Through Four Concussions in NFL Combine Head Bludgeoning Test

clowney BRFormer South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney demonstrated an ability to play through repeated head trauma today, impressing scouts who feared he might not be willing to sacrifice his brain and long-term physical and mental health for the game of football.

“It’s all you can ask from a young man,” said a Patriots scout. “When the game is on the line, when your season is on the line, you don’t want someone who is going to pull himself out of the game just because he’s seeing stars or doesn’t know where he is or can’t feel his extremities. Clowney proved today that he’s someone you can count on through thick and brain bleeding.”

The NFL’s new Head Bludgeoning Test — an NFL combine addition commissioner Roger Goodell has touted as “a undeniable example of the league’s commitment to brain research” — evaluates players’ ability to play through head trauma. The prospects are told to go through a series of exercises while they are hit in the head with bricks, bats, glass bottles and various projectiles. Clowney was able to take four serious blows to the head before stopping.

“I feel like I could have done better, but I unfortunately blacked out,” Clowney said after 20 minutes of unconsciousness. “The last thing I remember was a wrecking ball hurtling towards my head.”

Former Missouri defensive end Michael Sam disappointed scouts by skipping the drill.

“Lots of red flags there,” said a general manager. “I don’t want guys on my team who think they’re too special or too smart to suffer some brain injury.”

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