Completely Uninformed Hot Takes on the Top 20 Prospects in the 2014 NFL Draft

nfldraftJohnny Manziel – QB, Texas A&M

Definitely some maturity issues with this guy. What kind of grown man goes by the name “Johnny”? NFL teams can build around a John Manziel. Or maybe even a Johnathan Manziel, although that sounds a little soft. Johnny? Pass. Taking him before the 6th Round is a huge risk.

Jadeveon Clowney – DE, South Carolina

He’s listed as a defensive lineman, but he apparently has the speed of a running back, receiver or defensive back. Sounds like a man without a position. The dreaded tweener. It would be foolish to pick a tweener before the 5th Round. 

Blake Bortles – QB, Central Florida

I don’t care what anyone says, Blake Bortles is just fun to say. There isn’t a team that wouldn’t love to have a quarterback with that name. “Boom! Believe it! What a bomb by Blake Bortles!” Alliteration for the win. He should be the first quarterback taken. Too much upside here to pass up.

Teddy Bridgewater – QB, Louisville 

Bridgewater starred at Louisville. Other Louisville star quarterbacks of the last 10-15 years include Chris Redman and Brian Brohm. They did nothing in the NFL. Too many warning signs. Too many Cardinals Red red flags.

Greg Robinson – OT, Auburn 

This is the same name as that failure who coached at Syracuse and then ran the defense for RichRod at Michigan and Mack Brown at Texas. Is that too much negative baggage for a young player to carry? It could be. His draft stock will plummet.

Jake Matthews – OT, Texas A&M

Of the handful of Johnny Manziel highlights I have seen, he’s always running around making plays with his feet. That must be because his offensive line doesn’t block for him. And that must mean this Jake Matthews guy sucks. Smart NFL teams will stay far away from him.

Sammy Watkins – WR, Clemson

The fact that Clemson’s quarterback isn’t on this list tells me all I need to know: Watkins is a great receiver who managed to succeed despite having a subpar quarterback. He is a leader and a great locker room presence and should be seriously considered for the No. 1 overall pick.

Justin Gilbert – CB, Oklahoma State

I knew a kid in high school named Justin who was a total jerk. That kind of thing sticks with you. I’m not a fan of Justin Gilbert and wouldn’t take him in the 1st Round.

Aaron Donald – DT, Pitt

I’ve heard some whispers about this guy. At least I think they were about this guy. It was hard to hear, what with the things being said in whispers. All that aside, it’s probably wise for NFL teams to avoid him like the plague due to the whispers.

Khalil Mack – LB, Buffalo

Khalil. KhalELITE. That’s good enough for me. And it should be good enough for anyone. Also, coming from a small school, he’ll probably play with a chip on his shoulder his whole career. You can’t overvalue that in the National Football League.

HaHa Clinton-Dix – S, Alabama

With a name like that, you have to worry about this kid’s upbringing.  Right or wrong, NFL teams will want him focusing on football, not caring for his insane parents. Look for him to fall to the second or third day of the draft.

Anthony Barr – LB, UCLA

These players from LA schools get that LA lifestyle ingrained in them. Chances are Anthony Barr has no work ethic and will be out of the NFL in three years. He probably wants to be a fancy actor, not a hard-nosed gamer.

Mike Evans – WR, Texas A&M

For supposedly having so much 1st Round talent, Texas A&M sure did lose a lot of games last year. Must be that they were poorly coached. Put Mike Evans with a good coach — say, Bill Belichick — and this kid will be a Hall of Famer. Mark it down.

Eric Ebron – TE, North Carolina

You don’t draft a tight end in the 1st Round unless you’re sure he’s going to be a star. Ebron has done nothing in the NFL so far that suggests he is a star.

C.J. Mosley – LB, Alabama

Alabama won back-to-back national titles. Then they failed to even reach their conference title game. The trends show this guy has already peaked as a football player. He may only have one or two semi-productive years left. Draft with great caution.

Marqise Lee – WR, USC

Just a hunch this guy will be an embarrassing bust who will never put up Pro Bowl-caliber numbers. Unless he’s picked in the 4th Round or later. Then he’ll be a great value pick and a solid contributor.

Taylor Lewan – OT, Michigan

Playing in the Big Ten suggests he lacks the speed and quickness to keep up with NFL-caliber pass rushers. He’s also probably “tight in the hips” or something.

Timmy Jernigan – DT, Florida State

This guy just knows how to win. (His team won the BCS title this year.) You can’t have too many guys like this on a team. Any NFL team will be lucky to have him.

Odell Beckham – WR, LSU

He’s an SEC receiver so you know he’s lightning fast. He’ll no doubt provide a dynamic deep threat to whoever drafts him. This guy spreads the field and opens up plays for those around him.

Louis Nix – DT, Notre Dame

I’ve heard this guy’s name, and maybe not just because he went to Notre Dame. He’s probably really really good. Great even. For these reasons, he should have his name called early by any team that’s paying attention.

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Also see … 

Flowchart: Who Should be the No. 1 Overall Pick in the Draft?

Johnny Manziel blows an impressive 0.20 on NFL combine breathalyzer test