Wes Welker’s Brain Not All That Excited About Return to Action

7751666Denver Broncos receiver Wes Welker says he is excited to get back on the field for the first time in more than a month. The diminutive receiver hasn’t played since December 8th after suffering a serious concussion.

“I love football and it’s good to be back helping my team,” said Welker. “Especially in a playoff game.”

But sources say Welker’s brain is not quite as happy to be back playing football.

“His brain is pretty angry, to be honest,” said the source. “It’s been battered a lot over the past 15, 20 years and it had hoped this last concussion would cause Wes to say ‘enough is enough.’ But, no. His brain recovers to the point it can handle light and pass basic cognitive tests and Wes throws it right back on the field. It’s an abusive relationship.”

Welker says he won’t be controlled by his brain.

“Look, if I did everything my brain was telling me, my life would be a complete wreck. I’d sleep in every day. I’d eat horrible food. I’d sleep with every woman who is a six or above. The key to having a successful life is ignoring your brain a lot of the time. In fact, I think the brain deserves to get beaten up sometimes. It has it coming, sitting up there all high and mighty.”

Welker then began slurring his speech and blacked out.

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Peyton Manning texts Tom Brady pictures of himself throwing short passes to Wes Welker

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