President Obama Meets with Baseball Writers for Advice on Nation’s Most Pressing Issues

heymanfinalPresident Obama this morning met with members of the Baseball Writers Association of America to pick their brains for solutions to some of the nation’s greatest problems.

“I couldn’t be happier or more excited to welcome the baseball writers to the White House,” said the president. “While America is a great nation, we also face many serious issues. But these men and women I am welcoming here today have shown they operate on a different level on issues of right and wrong. I am looking forward to a productive meeting and I feel America will be better off because of it.”

On the agenda for the president’s meeting: growing the economy, Afghanistan, social security, healthcare, unemployment, gun control, energy policy and reforming America’s education system, among others.

“I want to find solutions that are fair and just,” said the president. “And when you want fair and just, you want the Baseball Writers Association of America. I see the BBWAA as a sort of league of ethical and moral superheroes, as do all Americans. We are lucky to have them.” 

Baseball writer Tim Kurkjian said he was looking forward to the meeting.

“After having the Hall of Fame vote weigh on your mind for so long, it’s nice to let your brain relax for a little bit and talk about issues that aren’t so important,” he said. “I’ll take finding a solution to extending unemployment benefits over weighing Craig Biggio’s Hall of Fame merits any day.”

“I’m just not sure what took the president so long,” said writer Jon Heyman. “The baseball writers have been here all along. We could have fixed the country years ago. It really shows how inefficient Washington is. I guess not all organizations operate as perfectly as the Baseball Writers Association of America.”

After a 12-hour meeting, President Obama and the BBWAA members emerged with no concrete solutions.

“They say they are not ready yet to weigh judgment,” said the president. “They said they first want to go on TV and write columns about all of this for a few months. And then they will return to me with a path forward for our country. All I can do now is wait.”

One decision, however, that did come out of the meeting was the BBWAA’s suggestion that Dan Le Batard be sent immediately to Guantanamo Bay.

– – – – –

Also see … 

Hall of Very Good opens across the street from Hall of Fame to very good reviews

The Funniest Photos from the 2013 MLB Season