From readers. Have a terrible sports gift tale? Send it to OverheardSP at gmail.
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By accident, my parents once gave me (a Buffalo Bills fan) a box with nothing inside of it for Christmas, forgetting to put a gift in. I laughed & sarcastically claimed, “I love it!”
Without missing a beat, my dad (a Giants fan) said, “We thought you would. It’s a replica Jim Kelly Super Bowl ring.” I stopped laughing.
For Christmas in 2006, all I wanted was a Brian Urlacher jersey to wear in case the Bears went to the Super Bowl in 2007. Instead, on Christmas morning, I unwrapped a men’s XXL #30 Mike Brown jersey. I’m a girl. It was like a tent on me. But since my parents couldn’t find any jerseys in my size, let alone an Urlacher one, they bought the M.Brown jersey and got me matching orange leggings so I could wear it as a dress.
One year a received a USED basketball hoop hamper. The NBA team logos were faded and out of date. This was around the time when the Sixers, Pistons, etc. were updating their logos. Also the Bullets were on there. This is besides the fact that it was a used hamper.
I also got a orange hair dryer that year even though: a) I’m a boy; b) my head was shaved.
I obviously didn’t grow up very wealthy.
I’m a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. My grandma once tried to get me a Todd Pinkston jersey. Enough said.
When I was in high school, my grandmother decided it would be a great idea to get me an Indiana University short-sleeve cheerleading sweater. It was also size XXL and went down past my knees. Not exactly an ideal gift for a 130-pound, 15 year-old boy. Or really any human. When I asked her why, she said, “because you love the Colts.”
That same Christmas, Grandma got my fashionable sister a puffy BYU Cougars coat. My Grandma thought the ‘Y’ stood for Yale. No one in my family went to Yale. It was in the Goodwill dumpster a week later.
I’m a lifelong diehard Cubs fan and Louisville Cardinals fan. Three years ago, I was surprised to see that my older brother had not one, but two Christmas gifts for me under the tree. I opened the first one to find a UK (University of Kentucky) hooded sweatshirt. Surely, he is messing with me. Go to open the second one, a St. Louis Cardinals New Era hat. WTF.
Saddest part about all of this, it wasn’t a joke. He thought I would like them. I returned the UK sweatshirt asap and re-gifted the same hat to him the next year. Needless to say, we would have our asses handed to us on Family Feud.
My dad has been a high school football coach my whole life, so when I was in elementary school the default present anyone ever got me was a Nerf football.
One year for my birthday my parents went to Walmart and got me a Peerless Price Falcons jersey. The jersey felt like a potato sack and just had Price’s name and a Falcons helmet on it.
I’ve been into hockey since I was a little kid. One year my mom told my grandmother this and Grandma excitedly gave me a box to open. I tore open the package, opened up the box and found a brand new, shiny pair of skates inside. Figure skates. White figure skates. “For hockey!” Grandma said. I never wore them, because I doubt Grandma wanted her grandson to be beaten to death on the ice.
I am a Twins fan and I asked for a Joe Mauer jersey a few years ago for Christmas. On Christmas morning, I opened the box and there it was – a #7 Twins jersey, just like I wanted. I took it out of the box and turned it around to check out the back. The name on the back read “MAWER”. I turns out my mom ordered the jersey from an unlicensed website in China.
My parents divorced when I was in my early teens. My mom soon got remarried and while my new stepdad tried to show an interest in me, he obviously was clueless. For example, I took up golf when I was 16. For Christmas that year, my stepdad got me a nice new driver. Unfortunately it was a right-handed driver and I’m left-handed. He probably should have known this because he took me golfing a few weeks before. This was slightly better than my 16th birthday when he got me a Saints jersey. The Saints are my favorite team. Good gift. Except the jersey was a women’s-cut jersey.
I’m huge Philadelphia Eagles fan and have been for 20 years. I live in Canada and its cold. My mom bought me a Dallas Cowboys winter jacket in 1993. Rather than wear that abomination, I gave it to my 75 year-old uncle that didn’t know any better and I froze for the winter.
My family didn’t have a lot of money growing up. My mom made a lot of our clothes. This includes the Christmas of 1994 when she sewed me a Larry Johnson Hornets jersey.
Ever receive a crappy sports gift? Send your story to OverheardSP at gmail.