Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill was given the title of “Honorary Black Guy” after practice today by his black Dolphins teammates. Tannehill, a white guy, now has all the rights and privileges that come with being a black guy on the Dolphins.
“I don’t know what to say. This means so much to me,” said the quarterback after the ceremony. “I just feel so … black. It’s great.”
Tannehill is just the third white Dolphins player to receive the esteemed title of Honorary Black Guy, the others being suspended guard Richie Incognito and wide receiver Brian Hartline.
“I’m glad to have Ryan join us in blackness,” said receiver Mike Wallace. “He’s a good young player and I think he can become the greatest black quarterback of all-time. He will inspire lots of young black kids, both real black kids and honorary ones.”
Thanks to his Honorary Black Guy status, Tannehill may now use the N-word, preferably ending in “a” instead of “er,” without his black teammates beating the hell out of him.
“That’s pretty much all the benefits,” said Wallace.
In fact, the Honorary Black Guy ceremony was simply Tannehill reading rap lyrics with the N-word in them, followed by his real black teammates declaring him “not racist.”
Philadelphia wide receiver Riley Cooper has reportedly repeatedly applied for Honorary Black a Guy status this season with the Eagles, but has been denied each time.