Penn State to Do Basketball Again This Year

penn-state-logoPenn State will have an official university basketball team compete again this year in the NCAA. The news comes after several 6-foot-1 and 6-foot-2 male college students were seen practicing basketball in jerseys that read PENN STATE on them at the University’s Bryce Jordan Center arena.

A call to Penn State’s Director of Athletics, David M. Joyner, confirmed the reports.

“Are we having a basketball team this year? A men’s basketball team? I don’t know about that. Let me check,” said Joyner. He was then overheard yelling out of his office to a co-worker: “Sheryl! Do we have a men’s basketball team this year? Yeah. Men’s.” 

“My secretary Sheryl is checking,” Joyner said, before speaking away from the receiver again: “Yeah? We do? Huh. Okay, thanks, Sheryl.”

“She says we have one,” said Joyner, back on the line. “Hey, if you know anyone who would want to play, I’m sure they could use some help.”

Further research found that the team has a coach named Patrick and that they hope to play as many as 31 games this season, assuming they can get gym time and the team isn’t disbanded before the schedule is complete. Remarkably, this will be the 116th consecutive season the University has had a men’s basketball team.

“It’s like a little running joke on campus,” said head football coach Bill O’Brien. “No one knows if the team will still exist tomorrow or the next day, but we’ll have fun with it while it lasts. At the very least, telling people Penn State has a basketball team is always a great conversation starter at dinner parties.”

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