Jacksonville Jaguars to Give Growing Big Beards a Try

jags businessinsiderLooking for anything that might turn their season around and make them successful on the field, the Jacksonville Jaguars decided today that they will all grow big, bushy beards.

“Look at the Boston Red Sox,” said quarterback Chad Henne. “They just won a championship and they have big beards. And think about the NHL playoffs. All those teams have beards, right? Yeah, this could work!”

Head coach Gus Bradley said he is behind the idea.

“I’ll try anything at this point. And stuff like growing beards supposedly brings a team together, right?” he said. “First, they all get big beards, maybe the next step is they all run the same play at the same time. That would be great.”

The 0-8 Jaguars have lost every game by an average of 22 points this season and are widely considered to be the worst NFL team in recent decades. But it is undeniable that all that losing has come with the majority of the team being clean-shaven.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” said running back Maurice Jones-Drew. “Even if we finish 0-16, I’ll have a huge beard and maybe people will mistake me for a homeless man or a terrorist. It will be far better than being identified as a Jacksonville Jaguar.”

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