The Boston Red Sox head into the 2013 World Series with one goal in mind: winning the franchise’s first true, non-asterisked World Series since 1918.
“The 2004 and 2007 championships are still officially in the record books, but no true competitor really gives those much validity,” said second baseman Dustin Pedroia. “I know if I retired having only quote-unquote ‘won’ the 2007 Series, it wouldn’t seem legit to me. My career would feel empty. I mean, everyone knows half our team back then was roided out of their minds.”
Boston manager John Farrell has used the PED-fueled — and tainted — 2004 and 2007 teams to motivate this 2013 team.
“Everyone outside of Boston scoffs at those two championships,” said Farrell. “As well they should. They were won thanks to cheating. But if we actually win a World Series without all of our top players having pure testosterone pumping through their veins? No one could take that away from us.”
Farrell says there is even more on the line for Boston sports teams if the Red Sox can pull off a miraculous, steroids-free title.
“I’m sure Bill Belichick would love to be able to point to us and say to his players: ‘Look, they won a World Series without steroids. Who’s to say we can’t win a Super Bowl without cheating?'” said the manager. “There’s a lot of bad history we could help overcome.”
But designated hitter David Ortiz wants to focus more on playing the game than on PEDs.
“I don’t think we should get too caught up in not doing steroids,” said Ortiz. “What if we win the World Series this year and then it comes out that, say, someone on our team was accidentally taking HGH, Decadurabolin and a drug that helps build muscle in cattle? Again: accidentally taking those things, completely without his knowledge. At all. Like, I don’t know, a cousin was injecting him while he was asleep or something. Would that taint the whole thing? I sure hope not.”
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(photo via AP/Boston Dirt Dogs)