Rockets Players Say Dwight Howard Isn’t Too Big of an Asshole So Far

dwight-howard-rockets-avatarDwight Howard’s Houston Rockets teammates say they don’t yet completely hate the former Magic and Lakers big man, who signed with the Rockets as a free agent in July.

“I’m not going to say I like spending a ton of time around him or that I don’t think I’ll eventually despise him completely,” said small forward Chandler Parsons. “But from everything I saw and heard from him before I got here, I expected him to be unbearable. I’m pleasantly surprised to report that, so far, he’s, you know, bearable.”

Granted, the NBA regular season is only just getting under way and the Rockets have not yet had to go on extended road trips with Howard or undergo a losing streak with him or deal with his behavior after an injury. But for now, most of the Rockets can still co-exist with him.

“No doubt he’ll be the cause of huge internal team feud by Christmas, but everyone who predicted that he would destroy the team from within before the season tipped — well, they look pretty stupid,” said shooting guard James Harden. “I think Dwight is motivated to prove to people that he can be a responsible, functioning member of a professional sports team for a few months.”

Center Omer Asik said: “Personally, I want to punch him right in his stupid face already,” but that the team recently took a poll and a slight majority said they don’t loathe Howard just yet. “I’ll go with the will of the team for now,” said Asik. “But when they all eventually come around, I’ll let them know I had it right from the start.”

For his part, Howard says he thinks most of his teammates are assholes.

“I don’t get the sense they understand how great I am or how funny I am or that they quite grasp all that I have accomplished in this league,” he said. “I’m pretty much the best player in basketball and I chose to play with them in this dump of a city. I’d expect a little gratitude, you know? But I guess I’ll give them a few more weeks to come around before I blow the whole team up.”

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