Report: SEC Offense Now the Measure of Greatness, Not Defense

SEC_new_logoAccording to numerous reports, the measure of a top-tier college football team is no longer how dominating its defense is, but how many points its offense can put on the scoreboard.

“Yeah, I mean, could it be more obvious?” Alabama head coach Nick Saban said today. “Do you even follow football? You can’t win a football game if you don’t score more points than your opponent. What’s not to get? I can’t make it any clearer than that for you.”

While two years ago the “Game of the Century” between Alabama and LSU that ended 9-6 in overtime was framed as the peak of college football greatness, SEC backers now say modern college football greatness is better displayed in a 44-41 Georgia-LSU game or a 49-42 Alabama-Texas A&M result

“I don’t see what 2011 has to do with anything,” says SEC commissioner Mike Slive. “You may as well be talking about 1924 with leather helmets. That’s ancient history. Offense is all that matters now.”

LSU head coach Les Miles said he sees the rise of offense in the SEC as a sign that the conference is better than ever.

“Who’s to say that our defenses aren’t as good as ever, but that our offenses are now also super-awesome?” he said. “We’re the best at everything, same as before, but not more so. Couldn’t that be it? Yes, let’s go with that.”

SEC sources also agreed that until another conference wins a national title, “everyone should stop nitpicking and shut their goddam mouths. We’ll make the narrative whatever we want it to be until someone stops us, got it?”

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