Perfectly Logical Reasons to Hate Everyone on the Cardinals and Red Sox

boston-redsox-logo1John Lackey - Overpaid jerk who divorced his wife when she had breast cancer.

Dustin Pedroia - There isn’t a more punchable human being on the planet than Dustin Pedroia.

David Ortiz - Roider.

Clay Buchholz - Meth head.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia - Stupid name.

Xander Bogaerts - Even stupider name.

Stephen Drew - His brother was universally loathed. There’s little reason to think he’s any better.

Jonny Gomes - Just look at him.

Jacoby Ellsbury - In seven MLB seasons, he has one season in which he hit 32 home runs, and then not another one in which he hit more than 9. NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL.

Ryan Dempster – He threw at A-Rod earlier this year because he thinks he’s the Baseball Police. He’ll likely sign his next contract with the Cardinals or Braves.

Jake Peavy - Wasn’t good enough to make the White Sox contenders so he accepted a trade to the Red Sox. DISLOYAL BANDWAGONER.

Mike Napoli - Of all the stupid beards — LOL! Facial hair! — he probably has the stupidest.

Shane Victorino - Has spent the last three seasons playing for the Phillies, Dodgers and Red Sox. He just needs to get the Yankees and Cardinals to complete his punchcard of loathsome teams.

Craig Breslow - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Felix Doubront - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Jon Lester - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Franklin Morales - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Junichi Tazawa - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Koji Uehara - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Brandon Workman - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Will Middlebrooks - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Quintin Berry - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Mike Carp - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

Daniel Nava - Plays for the Boston Red Sox.

David Ross - Seems like a pretty cool dude and all-around good guy. Too bad he plays for the Boston Red Sox.

See the Reasons to Hate the Cardinals

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