Report: Eli Manning’s Face Stuck Like That

eli carwooThe face of New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning is reportedly stuck like that after the Giants got crushed 38-0 by the Carolina Panthers to fall to 0-3 on the season.

“I don’t have any update on Eli’s condition,” he coach Tom Coughlin said this morning. “We are monitoring his face and we are hoping it will soon stop doing that.”

The veteran quarterback’s face has been locked in sustained Manning Face since midway through the third quarter on Sunday. He spent the night in a Charlotte hospital and will reportedly make the trip back to New York on Wednesday if his face doesn’t worsen.

“It’s scrunched up real good and his eyes are kind of crossed and he is breathing only through his mouth,” said wide receiver Victor Cruz. “I’ve seen his face stick like that for 15 minutes or so before. Even 30 minutes. But this is different. Obviously, Eli is in our thoughts and prayers.”

In addition to the Giants being 0-3, Manning has eight interceptions through three games, putting him on pace for 42 interceptions on the season, which would tie the all-time record and set the modern NFL record.

“He’s not playing well at all and we’ve all seen what his face is capable of even when the Giants are winning,” said a team source. “I think it all became too much for him to handle and his Manning Face kind of collapsed on itself.”

Doctors have reportedly injected large amounts of muscle relaxers into the quarterback’s face to help it come unstuck, but so far their only effect was to relax Manning’s bladder, causing him to repeatedly pee his pants.

Coughlin says the Giants expect to list Manning on this week’s injury report as Questionable: Manning Face.

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