How the Rest of the Nation Perceives Your Favorite NFL Team’s Fans

How the Rest of the Nation Perceives Your Favorite NFL Teams Fans – Image 1Arizona Cardinals: Forgotten desert people who paid attention to football briefly during that one magical 9-7 season with Kurt Warner.

Atlanta Falcons: Apathetic non-fans who are merely willing to quietly watch any football-like substance the day after Georgia plays.

Baltimore Ravens: Football ignoramuses who blame every loss on the refs, see no irony in whining about having their team stolen only to then steal another team, and idolize a guy who covered up a double murder.

Buffalo Bills: Depressed Eskimos.

Carolina Panthers: No perception because no one has ever met a Carolina Panthers fan.

Chicago Bears: Exactly like everyone on the Da Bears sketch, but dumber and fatter.

Cincinnati Bengals: Horribly dressed people whose fondest memory of their favorite team is probably that one time when they weren’t robbed by a Bengals player at gunpoint.

Cleveland Browns: It’s too depressing to even think what these people are like.

Dallas Cowboys: Loathsome beings who love the Cowboys, Lakers and Yankees, and hate self-awareness.

Denver Broncos: Bull calf testicle-eating ski people who will worship any quarterback who can deliver a 9-win or better season.

Detroit Lions: Hoboes who use Ford Field as a shelter.

Green Bay Packers: Residents of a remote, forgotten village who sadly have nothing more in their lives than football and cheese.

Houston Texans: Oilers fans who stopped existing for a while and then had to update their wardrobes.

Indianapolis Colts: White, flyover country fatties whose entire self-worth is contingent on the careers of Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Twelve people who might get a little upset when the team goes to Los Angeles.

Kansas City Chiefs: Lard asses who are content to watch an awful team year after year as long as there is good barbecue at pregame tailgates.

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