The Pittsburgh Pirates have clinched their first winning season since 1992, ending a 20-season losing streak – the longest such streak in major professional sports history. So much has not changed in those 20 years.
1. The U.S. has a dude president.
2. Flying cars? Not a thing.
3. Flying skateboards? Also not a thing.
4. Moon living? Nope.
5. Hot three-boobed women only exist in movies.
6. Newspapers and magazines are published, at least to a degree.
7. Dippin’ Dots has yet to achieve its promise as the “ice cream of the future.”
8. Young pop music stars are doing things that shock and outrage old people.
9. Men be all like this, and women be all like this.
10. Black people be all like this, and white people be all like this.
11. Congress: bunch of bums, am I right?
12. Most people have absolutely no idea how they get those model ships inside of glass bottles.
13. Robot servants: not prevalent.
14. Sex is a popular activity that people like and pursue opportunities to engage in.
15. Jet packs: owned by very few.
16. Athletes are making way too much money when you consider what police officers and firefighters and teachers make.
17. The Middle East: not a great place for vacation.
18. Philadelphia: kind of a festering dump heap.
19. Jim Leyland looks like a 75 year-old man.
20. Cubs suck.
– – – – –