Urban Meyer Glad He Recruited Players Dumb Enough to Believe His Speech About Needing to Play Well to Beat Buffalo

Urban Meyer wikiOhio State head football coach Urban Meyer says he was reminded again this week the importance of recruiting players lacking in mental aptitude.

“I’ve been trying to sell these men on the fact that if we’re going to beat the University of Buffalo at home in our opener, that we’re going to have to play our best,” said Meyer. “That, of course, is a total lie and anyone with half a brain would sniff it out immediately. We can play horribly and still win easily. But these dolts seem to be buying into it.”

Meyer said he hasn’t necessarily made a point of recruiting idiots at Ohio State, but it’s an added benefit if a recruit is a known moron.

“We’re not trying to produce Rhodes Scholars here. We’re trying to win football games,” he said. “I don’t care if a guy drools all over himself as long as he can get to the quarterback, right? And if all things are equal between two recruits, but one is on honor roll and the other eats glue? I’ll definitely take the mental midget. The smart ones always snicker when you talk about how you can lose to teams like Buffalo. Some even start questioning whether getting their head bashed in for four years is really worth it. Who wants that?”

Meyer admitted that one of the things that drew him to the Ohio State job is that Jim Tressel before him had done a good job bringing in dumbasses.

“Ohio State is an institution that only cares about football. As long as a player can officially be eligible, no one will ask any questions,” he said. “That’s the kind of environment you want to work in when you’re trying to compete for national championships. It’s not quite to what I had at Florida yet, but we’ll get there.”

Meyer said his players also seem to believe him when he says they can win a national championship this year.

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