Ravens Admit It’s Kind of Nice to Not Have Jesus Watching All of Their Practices

Elam Ravens wikiIt’s a new era for the Baltimore Ravens now that linebacker Ray Lewis, the longtime face of the franchise, has retired. But it’s a change Ravens players and coaches are unanimously enjoying.

“Change can be difficult. I honestly didn’t know what to expect without Ray,” said head coach John Harbaugh. “But one thing I’ve definitely found is that the players feel more relaxed knowing that Jesus Christ isn’t watching them all the time. Jesus was with Ray all the time, of course, and — as you can probably imagine — it can be intimidating to practice with someone like that watching. You really don’t want to make mistakes. But training camp is the time to make mistakes.”

Quarterback Joe Flacco believes his game can progress now even beyond the level it was during Baltimore’s Super Bowl run.

“A lot of my critics don’t understand that Jesus has been watching everything I have done since I was drafted here,” said Flacco. “That’s a lot of pressure. No other quarterbacks have had to deal with that. Not Tom Brady. Not the Mannings. Not Roethlisberger. Sometimes when I screwed up, I’m fairly confident Jesus went and told Ray about it. It caused some friction, I’ll admit. And it’s hard to step up as a quarterback and be the leader of the team when Jesus Christ is two steps off the field with his arms folded, glaring at you.”

The more relaxed and carefree camp atmosphere aside, the Ravens say they still hope Jesus roots for them and helps them win, just as He did during Lewis’ career.

“Late in the game when you need a defensive stop, it was nice knowing Jesus was our 12th Man,” said Harbaugh. “Especially considering how slow and ineffective Ray got towards the end of his career. We needed supernatural help to overcome his many deficiencies.”

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