Generally considered the “best” hitter in the lineup, but how good is he really? Check the stats. Yep. That’s right. Looks like he fails about 7 times out of 10. That sucks. Just try failing 7 times out of 10 at your job. You’ll get fired before lunchtime.
#8 – cleanup hitter
This guy is supposed to crush home runs and sometimes he does. But that power comes with a big tradeoff. Look at all those strikeouts. If you’re supposed to be a professional hitter and struggle to even make contact with the baseball, you can’t be all that good.
#7 – No. 5 hitter
Just a guy who isn’t good enough to be a cleanup hitter.
#6 – No. 2 hitter
He can probably run fairly well, but not doesn’t have blazing speed. He probably hits for a decent average, but isn’t the best hitter in the lineup. And he probably has some pop in his bat, but is far from a power hitter. Basically, he can’t do anything well.
#5 – leadoff hitter
Probably a failed sprinter who was handed a baseball bat on the way to the unemployment line.
#4 – No. 6 hitter
If a No. 5 hitter is a failed cleanup hitter, a No. 6 hitter is one level still below that. Hell, this guy might even be a lowly platoon player. YOU’RE WORTHLESS AGAINST HALF THE PITCHERS IN BASEBALL, LOSER!
#3 – No. 7 hitter
In a good year, he probably hits about .262 and might have 11 home runs and 59 RBI. His parents are embarrassed of him.
#2 – No. 9 hitter
At least in the National League, the No. 9 hitter is the pitcher and has a little bit of an excuse for completely sucking ass. He also contributes to the team in a big way on the mound. Still, though, do you have to look like an idiot with a bat in your hands? You had to have at least batted before in Little League, yet you look like you have no idea how to even stand in the batter’s box. Have some pride, guy.
#1 – No. 8 hitter
Oh, great. You’re a good fielder. Guess who else looks like a good fielder? Everyone who fields your weak-ass ground balls, FAILURE.