“Pile of crap” and Charlie Weis’ 10 Best Recruiting Lines

charlie weis bleacher report

1. “Have you looked at that pile of crap out there?”

2. “I don’t throw compliments like this around to everyone, but you remind me of a septic tank.”

3. “I’ve locked the door and I’m not going to stop farting until you sign a binding letter of commitment.”

4. “If you were good enough to get recruited by good programs, you wouldn’t even be talking to me right now. We’re the best option you have, suckwad. Time to admit that.”

5. “You’re the best talent I’ve seen since Jimmy Clausen!”

6. “Just come here and play as a freshman. If you’re any good, you can transfer to a non-crap team. What do you have to lose?”

7. “You seem like a young man with the kind of character that can handle getting the shit kicked out of you every Saturday. That’s a rare trait.”

8. [belches] “Come … to … Kan … sas” [/belches]

9. “I’ve got nothing. I’m just hoping you make the biggest mistake of your life.”

10. “Look. I’ll be honest. I referred to all of my current players as a ‘pile of crap’ and now I think they want to beat me up. If you come here and promise to help defend me in an attack, I’ll give you some of the money I stole from Notre Dame. Deal?”

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